410/510 Pursuers and Avoiders in Couples Therapy

Terry Real • Saturday All Day

Terry RealUnderstanding the different variations within the pursuer–avoider dynamic is one of the keys to doing more effective couples therapy. We’ll explore the attachment issues and trauma histories that shape different kinds of pursuers and distancers, as well as the different kinds of interventions that match different clients’ needs and interactive styles.

In this workshop, you’ll:

  • Explore the roles of love addiction, codependency, grandiosity, family-of-origin issues, and externalization in different kinds of couples’ patterns
  • Investigate the differences between the one-down avoider (shame based) and the one-up avoider (mean and aggressive), as well as the one-down pursuer (no boundaries in pursuing) and the one-up pursuer (potential for violence)
  • Practice matching specific clinical techniques to fit each style

This session will continue with workshop 510.

Terry Real, LICSW, founded the Relational Life Institute and is Good Morning, America’s relationship expert. His books include The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work and the bestseller I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression.

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