326 The Couples Therapist

Dan Wile • Friday Afternoon

Dan WileIf we could see what was going on inside of our heads in a couples session, we’d probably find a tangle of emotions. Sometimes we’re engrossed in the couple’s story, moved by the partners’ dilemma, perhaps fighting back tears. Sometimes we’re overwhelmed by the out-of-control fighting, uncertain how to contain it. Other times we feel powerless or bored. In this workshop, we’ll explore how to move from these various states of mind into more effective action.

Specifically, you’ll grasp how to:

  • Develop more freedom and flexibility in navigating among the Six Therapist Stances: self-critical, self-congratulatory, anxious, angry/reactive, disengaged/bored, and engaged
  • Identify the five most common problem situations in couples therapy and how to respond to the emotional challenges of each
  • Practice the technique of Doubling as a way to gain insight into clients’ emotional states while simultaneously pulling yourself out of your own triggered state

Dan Wile, PhD, is an assistant clinical professor at the University of California, Berkeley. He’s published three books and numerous articles on couples, and gives professional workshops nationally and internationally.

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