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  • 0 NP0010 Is Mindfulness Enough? NP0010, Mindfulness, Session 4, Michael Yapko 10.25.2011 13:55
    Really enjoyed this webinar and stimulated me to buy your book and study further. Practicing 30 years and happily married like you 32 years and mindful and appreciative of what I have, particularly when things are tough. I am not in a "hypnotic trance state" (joking), but when I am annoyed or hurt (which is unavoidable in long term relationships), I do try to be mindful and conjure up positive thoughts, experiences and images and ... try to share (or suggest) this approach or tool with patients when appropriate.

    Question: I just saw a patient yesterday who I have been working with many years (stopped for a while and came back a few years ago.) She asked " Do people ever end ...how do you know when to stop? Explored and said she doesn't feel she's improving and then she moved on to talking about her job(nurse) and how she is mistreated by many of the other nurses..."they can get angry and criticize me, but when I dish it back they can't take it...used to be quiet and just take it, but not keeping quiet anymore". (not a new issue) For purposes of brevity, I'll just mention that we explored this issue, but first, I expressed that I didn't want to ignore her comments about "not improving". Explored and she said, "I'm still feeling bad". (Many early losses-father died when she was 8yo, she is divorced with 28 y.o. daughter who she raised on her own, and mother died last year (complications and difficult relationship). I did not get defensive and mentioned that she had a recent loss, as well as past losses and work triggers her feeling of being "pushed aside, unimportant and alone." ( her words and feelings that we discuss). Try to deal with her thoughts about being a victim and hopeless. After your webinar, recognized more clearly on another level that she feels hopeless about therapy and me. I do try to gently explore her action outside therapy and her beliefs (and need to explore with her how her "automatic beliefs" get in the way.)

    But how do I explore her action without her feeling pressured or criticized that she's not doing enough (she gets frustrated). Also, I don't want her to think that I'm being defensive and saying, "you're not doing enough to feel better". Your discussion about thoughts, beliefs, expectations and automaticity is helpful and I do address this in our work, , but I think it will be helpful to focus more on the automatic thoughts and expectations.

    I just realized that I am looking forward to the next session with greater hope on my part which I know is important. (Previously, I left the session questioning myself whether she needs a change, but I think she would feel "automatically" hopeless, abandoned and rejected.)I would greatly appreciate your feedback. Thank you very much.

    Jean Geffen

  • 0 NP006 Couples Therapy: Today and TomorrowNP006, Couples, 3, Harville Hendrix 06.23.2011 13:12
    Excellent and helpful. Like the idea of immediate structure to avoid escalation,provide a new expeience, safety, hope. What about the patient who has trouble staying with the structure? I'm concerned about asking a patient who goes on non-stop the "magic question"- Is there more? How would you handle this without re-wounding

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