How to Access Core Values
Outrage at a video of NFL running back Ray Rice punching his fiancée unconscious brought massive media attention to the problem of domestic violence. But the media focus on the importance of abusers being punished ignored the question of how to actually help them change their behavior. This workshop takes the position that abusers are most likely to change when they access their own deeper values concerning the kind of partner or parent they want to be. It will demonstrate an approach that emphasizes helping men practice alternative ways to express resentment and find more prosocial ways to experience themselves as powerful in their families. You’ll explore how to:
- Guide men to regularly practice incompatible response strategies as an alternative to abusing those around them
- Help men ally with the person they want to be and learn to feel compassion for themselves
- Help men use their own deepest values as a motivation for change
Steven Stosny, PhD, is the director of Compassion Power. He’s the author of Love without Hurt and coauthor of How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It. His most recent book is Living and Loving after Betrayal.